Description
From Chapter 24, “What If,” of It’s Impossible by J H McIntosh — Act I: Love Awakens.
"This drop of water, my eyes offer, for the desert lost, it’s no answer," reflects Belle's dilemma in Stand. Aaron's quiet, gentle love is starting to penetrate the walls built to protect her. She’s almost ready to embrace a love that honors strength, freedom, and deep respect. This reminds us that true connection is never forced or diminished. It gently encourages patience and gratitude for whatever comes, while standing firm in hope and authenticity. Listening remind us that love, when whole and real, uplifts without possession and supports without chains.
Lyrics
I tell myself I’m careful,
I tell myself I’m free.
I tell myself I’m standing still,
But he keeps seeing me.
I keep trying not to love him,
Like love is something I can outrun.
But every path I take keeps bending
To a place I haven’t yet undone.
I call it patience, I call it fear,
I call it anything but true.
He doesn’t question where we’re headed,
He already knows who.
Because he’s not saying what if,
He’s saying when, like it’s already here.
And I’m the one still holding distance,
Like love disappears if I look too clear.
He sees me standing where I am,
Even when I don’t know where I stand.
And that’s what makes it harder still,
He already understands.
He doesn’t grab what wants to go,
He doesn’t cage what needs its air.
He loves me like a door left open,
Always there.
He talks about belonging,
Like it’s not a frightening word.
Like giving all of me to someone
Wouldn’t leave my past stirred.
I can’t say I want him out loud,
But I can’t stand the thought
Of him laughing with someone else,
Like I never crossed his thought.
Because if he’s mine, he’s fully mine,
Not borrowed days, not shared replies.
And God forgive me, the truth burns slow,
I don’t want to divide my life.
If he stays, I have to stay too,
And that’s the part I can’t outrun.
Because staying means believing
I might be enough for someone.
He sees past skin, past grace, past youth,
Past everything I show.
He touches truth I’ve never named,
A place I’ve never known.
I’ve spent my life learning how to leave,
How not to need, how not to fall.
But loving him feels like surrender
To something bigger than me at all.
Maybe standing doesn’t mean I’m trapped,
Maybe it means I finally choose.
Maybe I’m not losing who I am,
Maybe I’ve been hiding her too.
I push him back, then miss him gone,
I brace myself, then break.
Every time I draw the line,
He’s still right there, awake.
Still loving me without demand,
Still waiting without a plan.
And I don’t know what love is,
If this isn’t it, then what is that?
Maybe it’s time I stop pretending
This is something I control.
Maybe love is standing closer
When everything says protect your soul.
I don’t know who I am without
The ache his nearness brings.
But I know I’m tired of running
From where I’m already standing.
I haven’t said it out loud yet,
I don’t know how without burning through.
But if love stays when nothing forces it,
Then I’m still in love with you.
And if that scares me,
That’s okay.
Because somehow…
I’m already standing next to you.
I tell myself it’s safer here,
On the edge, not falling in.
But edges have a way of asking
What we’re really running from.
He says what if like it’s a theory,
Like it hasn’t already begun.
Like I haven’t been holding my breath
Since the day I met this one.
He talks like losing me’s a question,
I hear it like a coming storm.
Because he already knows,
And that’s what scares me more.
Because if I say yes, I can’t undo,
What I finally let him see.
If I fall, I fall all the way,
There is no halfway place in me.
He doesn’t chase, he doesn’t plead,
He doesn’t pull or try to bend.
He just stands there loving me…
And I don’t know how to defend.
I’ve never had to fight for air,
Never begged to be believed.
But wanting him feels dangerous,
Like needing something I can’t leave.
The thing about belonging,
That part sat deep inside my chest.
He wants all of me or none of me,
And somehow that feels fair, not pressed.
I tell myself I don’t need this,
I say I’m fine alone.
But the thought of him with someone else
Feels like a house I’ve never owned,
Burning down.
Because if he’s mine, then he is mine,
Not borrowed hope or borrowed time.
And God help me, the truth is clear,
I don’t want to share what’s mine.
He’s not asking me to try,
He’s not saying prove me right.
He’s asking me to jump and trust
I’ll survive the flight.
He doesn’t love like people do,
With tallies kept or debts to pay.
He lets go of what won’t stay,
And somehow that makes him stay.
He waited years for someone gone,
Faithful past what made sense then.
If he stays like that for me,
Who do I become?
Because no one’s stayed before,
Not when it mattered most to me.
And the moment you believe they might,
That’s usually when they leave.
And then he opens something bigger,
Not just love, but legacy.
Says stand beside me, build with me,
Help me bless what others see.
What if I’m not enough for that?
What if I fail, what if I fall?
But what if I’m more afraid of losing him
Than losing myself at all?
Because this isn’t if anymore,
It’s already under my skin.
I’m not standing at the doorway now,
I think I’ve already stepped in.
He’s not waiting for me to be ready,
He’s just… there.
And maybe love is trusting something holy
Enough to care.
So I won’t promise.
I won’t run.
I won’t pretend I’m brave.
For now, I’ll stop resisting what is
And whisper,
Let it be.
