Description
From Chapter 66, “I’m Ready,” of It’s Impossible by J H McIntosh — Act III: Trust and Letting Go.
"I don’t check my phone before I hit the floor, but this morning I reached like never before. Your name was there, and my heart already knew, you dreamed I sent the words I never do." Belle has a premonition that Aaron had a dream and in his dream she finally sent the "I'm ready" message. Oddly, she doesn't seem to understand what her knowing about Aaron's dream before she received his text says about their connection. Listening to this song gives us pause to reflect on the courage it takes to be truly seen and the gentle grace found in admitting when we’re not yet ready.
Lyrics
I woke up breathing like I’d been called,
By something I forgot I was tied to at all.
Not fear, not danger, not regret,
Just a pull I haven’t shaken yet.
I don’t check my phone before I hit the floor,
But this morning I reached like never before.
Your name was there, and my heart already knew,
You dreamed I sent the words I never do.
You dreamed I said, “I’m ready,” like it’s simple and true,
Like love’s just a door I can easily walk through.
But wanting something and knowing how,
Are two different truths colliding right now.
I wasn’t sleeping at four forty-four,
I was staring at the ceiling, hollow once more.
I’ve whispered those words into empty air,
I don’t send promises I’m not sure I can bear
Because “I’m ready” means nowhere to hide,
Means being fully seen deep down inside.
It means loving without an escape,
And I don’t know if I’m built that shape.
Sometimes the fear isn’t wanting more,
It’s knowing what that wanting’s for.
You think your age is the reason I stall,
Like time’s the wall blocking your all.
But loving can lead to losing too,
And I don’t know if I’d survive losing you.
You dreamed I said, “I’m ready,” maybe that’s why
It hurt in a place I don’t let anyone try.
Because dreams don’t lie, and they don’t wait,
They see how close I stand at the gate.
If I choose you and time runs thin,
That’s a grief I don’t know how to live in.
I didn’t text you, I won’t pretend,
But I didn’t turn away in the end.
For now, all I can let you know,
I heard you… even if I didn’t show.
I wonder if God hears what I don’t say,
The words I carry but never display.
Maybe what I can’t send, He still holds,
Every quiet truth I’ve never told.
Maybe love don’t need to hear a sound,
Just honesty whispered when it’s found.
