Description
From Chapter 78, “Alone,” of It’s Impossible by J H McIntosh — Act III: Trust and Letting Go.
Aaron's failure to notice both Belle's text and her call on his landline phone will cause him to pause, perhaps till his dying day. It was a rare time when Belle initiated the contact and he missed it. Paradoxically, his headset was on as he was mixing the song "It's Impossible." He may forever feel like it was a test he failed. Maybe it was a test, or maybe Knocking (Belle) was just Belle looking for a moment of warmth and sincerity. This reminds us that sometimes the bravest act is simply being present, quietly hoping to be seen and understood without rushing or expectation.
Lyrics
I reached for you in quiet ways,
A text, a call… erased for days.
Not asking you to rescue me,
Just wondering if you’d see.
I stood just outside your door,
With armor half way to the floor.
I wasn’t seeking forever,
I was offering “not never.”
I’m not knocking at your door,
A text, a call, but nothing more.
If alone I know you’d love me right,
That would never do for just one night.
I didn’t knock because I knew,
If opened we’d see right through.
If in your arms I’m ever held,
That’s a truth I couldn’t quell.
I fear how fast two would be one,
How does fate stop once begun.
I’m not knocking at your door,
A text, a call, but nothing more.
If alone I know you’d love me right,
That would never do for just one night.
And I don’t trust the part of me,
That wants you closer than I see.
You didn’t answer in that moment,
There’s no need to seek atonement.
Silence lands like absence does,
And love is its own because.
I’ve lived inside my reasons for so long,
Come to believe my walls keep me strong.
But you make walls feel unnecessary,
As if your love is in no hurry.
I won’t knock upon your door,
A text, a call, but nothing more.
If alone I know you’d love me right,
That would never do for just one night.
So I stayed quiet, stayed outside,
Let silence close the door.
Not because I didn’t want you,
But because I might want more.
And if one day I stand at your door again,
Will you hear me there… knocking?
