Description
From Chapter 38, “Unkind Kindness,” of It’s Impossible by J H McIntosh — Act II: Soul to Soul.
With words like: "I’ve stayed intact by standing firm, I hold the line so I don’t burn," we see what keeps Belle from accepting the love Aaron offers. It's a quiet, sincere reflection on the delicate balance between self-protection and opening to care. Its tender tones and thoughtful words invite you to sit with the struggle of holding firm boundaries while sensing the gentle pull of kindness and love. Listening here is like witnessing someone’s honest effort to stay whole without shutting out the possibility of connection. It’s a gentle reminder that strength and vulnerability can coexist. And sometimes the bravest act is simply standing.
Lyrics
You give like nothing’s owed or due,
And somehow that’s what cuts me through.
I know the kind of giving most folks mean,
The kind with strings they hope stay unseen.
That kind I know how to outrun,
But yours doesn’t feel like that one.
You worry kindness might do harm,
That love could feel like a tightening arm.
Burden. Debt. A silent claim.
Those words still set my nerves aflame.
A gold chalice I don’t need as proof,
Or someone to give me a roof.
I’ve lived my life defending ground,
I hold the line I’ve always found.
I don’t mistrust your heart or hand,
I just don’t know where I would land.
You give so easy, free and clean,
You listen close, you notice the unseen.
You remember things I never keep,
And that’s the part that cuts too deep.
It’s not the food or time or care,
It’s how you make room and stay right there.
You try to give me ways to choose,
So love won’t feel like something I lose.
I don’t want favors I must repay,
I don’t want debts that never go away.
I’ve built myself to stand alone,
I hold the line I’ve always known.
If I lean once, I might not stop,
And I don’t know what I’d drop.
A red heart text you braved to ask,
That’s the test I’m not ready to pass.
That’s not a thanks, that’s not a sign,
That’s crossing over my last line.
Your kindness softens what I made strong,
Makes me wonder what I’ve fought so long.
Letting you care feels like retreat,
Like losing ground beneath my feet.
I don’t want needing to change my name,
I don’t want care that shifts my frame.
I’ve stayed intact by standing firm,
I hold the line so I don’t burn.
Tonight I typed a heart in red,
Let it hover over what I said.
One small shape, no words in sight,
Too loud, too true, erased that night.
I’m not unkind, I’m just surviving,
Still learning how to stay whole and living.
So I’ll show up strong, I’ll toe the line,
Not today. No red heart, I’m holding the line.
