Description
From Chapter 82, “The Last,” of It’s Impossible by J H McIntosh — Act III: Trust and Letting Go.
"I could give you nights, I could give you skin, I know how that story ends. But if I give you all of me, where do I land when you leave?" In a few words that's Belle's story. She knows Aaron well enough to know he could never settle for less then all of her but, to go there Belle would have to believe in the reality of true love – she doesn't. Right now she cannot sit between longing and fear. To do that she would have to honor the delicate dance of trust, the hesitations that hold us back, and the courage it takes to offer more than just surface connection. When staying means facing the unknown within ourselves.
Lyrics
I know the way your eyes confess,
The wanting you don’t second-guess.
You’ve never hidden what you feel,
I’ve always known, and that’s what’s real.
I’ve seen how promises begin,
With truth that fades when doubts walk in.
They swear they’ll stay, they swear they’re sure,
Till love meets cracks it can’t endure.
You say you don’t want next or new,
You say you want what’s lasting too.
But words sound strongest at the start,
Before they learn a guarded heart.
I’ve learned how touch can come and go,
It’s hearts I don’t know how to loan.
You don’t just want my skin or shape,
You want the truth I keep in place.
You want the parts I never show,
The ones that scare me if you know.
I could give you nights, I could give you skin,
I know how that story ends again and again.
But if I give you all of me,
Where do I land when you leave?
Control is how I stay intact,
I give in parts, I never crack.
That moment when you stood behind,
No claim, no pull, no crossing lines.
Your hands just rested, calm and sure,
Like asking without asking more.
That’s what undid me, that’s the truth,
Not hunger, but the way you chose.
To pull away, to let me be,
When leaning back felt dangerous to me.
Because if I fall and you don’t go,
I won’t know who I am below.
And if you stay when I push through,
Will I be able to love like you.
You say you want to be the last,
But last means staying through the past.
Through doubt, through nights I can’t explain,
Through loving you without a name.
I remember your hands on my sides,
I remember whispering that song….
Stay, just a little bit longer…stay…
