Description
From Chapter 20, “Rejection,” of It’s Impossible by J H McIntosh — Act I: Love Awakens.
This song opens quietly with Belle singing "I told you stay away, and my words cut me first," as it gently unwraps the tender vulnerability of loving while afraid, capturing the quiet ache of someone caught between retreat and longing. Its soft, sincere melody invites you to sit with the complexity of opening your heart when fear still lingers, reminding us that love’s courage doesn’t always roar sometimes it silently aches with no place to hide.
Lyrics
I told you “stay away”…
And my words, cut me first.
I said it fast, so you couldn’t see,
How my own fear echoed in me.
You asked if you should leave tonight,
Fear said “Yes” before “No’ could fight.
And as you walked away,
My heart cried, please stay.
Still,
I want you closer than I dare to speak.
Still,
Your kindness touches places I let sleep.
And if I fall, it will be complete.
Still, I ache…
Still, I shake…
Still, this love
Terrifies me, to take.
Your prayers came out of concern,
You gave pieces of you, unearned.
Even after I pushed you toward the door,
You never blamed, never asked for more.
Still,
I feel the truth I’ve tried to hide.
Still,
It’s been revealed to you inside.
And if I let you in, I fear I’ll break again…
Still, I yearn…
Still, I burn…
Still, I’m caught between the fear,
And the cost of love’s return.
Maybe the gift you feel has been given,
Comes from an address of silence, hidden.
Maybe the healing I’m avoiding,
Only comes from love’s final joining.
Yes, I kept the box, as you knew I would,
It sits there where, Cinderella once stood.
God knows I look at it every day,
I know not why, I can’t throw it away.
Still,
I hear your voice in every room.
Still,
Lighting forgotten places of ruin.
I say “go away,” my soul whispers “stay”
Still, I fall…
Still, I call…
Still, I love your love,
Even if I can’t, answer its call.
No one has ever seen me before,
Only you, saw through a closed door.
That means more than I know how to reveal.
But even unspoken, I know it’s real
I sought protection from their tea,
From their cruel words and bigotry.
So if you hear my silence and ask why,
Don’t mistake what I can’t say, for goodbye.
