Description
From Chapter 39, “Knowing,” of It’s Impossible by J H McIntosh — Act II: Soul to Soul.
Knowing offers a quiet invitation to explore the tender spaces between longing and presence, where love is felt deeply without possession or demand. With "I fast from touch, I fast from claim, but feast each day on just your name," Aaron’s words unpack the complexity of yearning, teaching us that true closeness sometimes means embracing absence and uncertainty with reverence. It encourages humility, reminding us that some hungers reveal the depth of our hearts rather than their emptiness. Listening can be a soothing reminder of the sacredness found in simply being near, even when nothing is spoken.
Lyrics
I fast from bread, I fast from touch,
I learned what hunger really was.
You say I should already know your heart,
That truth lives quiet, never sharp.
I see it in the way your eyes stay still,
Like love is there, unsure of will.
I don’t want possession, I want presence near,
I don’t want conquest, I want you right here.
There’s peace in this ache, in holding and slowing,
I’ll starve my hands and live in the knowing.
I learned what hunger meant years long ago,
Eight days of prayer, then mercy slow.
That first warm bite I couldn’t earn,
Taught me some hungers deepen when returned.
I don’t want answers dressed up as relief,
I want the truth that bends me at the knees.
If all I’m given is your quiet showing,
I’ll bless the gift and stay in the knowing.
I fast from touch, I fast from claim,
But feast each day on just your name.
I know my nearness may be hard to hold,
I come with ache, with reverence uncontrolled.
I bring my whole self every time I stay,
And work so hard not to reach as you walk away.
Depth isn’t somewhere hearts arrive,
It’s where they go to stay alive.
Longing itself has learned to pray,
Restraint the price true love will pay.
I don’t want love that leaves a scar,
I don’t want dreams that ask too far.
I kneel inside what I can’t be showing,
Please God, keep me true in the knowing.
If this is pain, then let it be,
A holy wound that widens me.
I’ve got everything a man could need,
But one truth follows faithfully—
Though days go on and life feels sound,
I ain’t got you… and that’s knowing ground.
